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Mark Twain

“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.”

The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, Chapter X — “The Nymph Revealed” (1894)

Documented source

Attribution
Mark Twain
Source
The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, Chapter X — “The Nymph Revealed” (1894)
Status
Public domain in the United States

Every quote here is traced to a documented source. How we verify →

About this line

It opens Chapter X of The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson, the 1894 novel Twain set in a Missouri river town. Every chapter in the book starts with a saying from “Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar,” the whimsical almanac of the town’s lawyer.

The wording is Twain’s own: “count four,” not “count to four,” with his semicolon. In 1825, Thomas Jefferson had ended a list of rules for a young namesake with “When angry, count ten, before you speak; if very angry, an hundred.”

Why we carry this line

My late mom used shit as a noun, a verb, an adjective and anything else that suited her. My daughter-in-law and I could go up against the sailor community in a competition and likely win.

Forget counting to 10. Jefferson said a hundred. Patience is not my strong suit. Per Twain, counting to 4 is plenty.

Roy Kent from Ted Lasso would fit right in with us. He can make “fuck” a complete sentence, and often does.

The design

Four tally marks sit under “count four.” They keep the count, so the last word can land.

That word is set largest, in warm matte gold. By the time you reach it, you’ve earned it.